Sigh. It’s that time of the year again, yes, the one where everyone makes their lists and checks them twice— only to feel naughty about three months later when you still haven’t attended a single core Pilates class or organized your closet according to season and/or color.
Resolutions! Who needs them? We do. Sort of. Nobody’s perfect, and a new year provides as good of a time as any to clear out the physical and emotional clutter that weighs us down so we can make room for all kinds of fresh starts. So then question becomes: how do you define “fresh” when you’re so worn out from the holidays that you haven’t taken a shower in three days and you can barely make your way through the house without stumbling over piles of dirty laundry and boxes that don’t fit in the recycling bin?
Behold – Bergen Mama’s three-part strategy. No rules, no resolutions, no excuses! These are just . . . suggestions. Pick and choose what works best for you.
1. Care Less. As a mom, it’s likely that you care too much about all kinds of things that cause you stress on a daily basis: disorganized kid rooms, mysterious spills in the back of your refrigerator, that soccer coach who can’t clean up the typos in his emails, your neighbor’s barking dog… hey, we’re not saying you shouldn’t care or can’t ever get annoyed, but what if you simply resolved to care less? Not careless. Two words: “care” and “less.” Here: think about those stressed-out friends of yours who endlessly complain about parties they have to plan, kitchen remodels that take too long, or are always one-upping you with humble brags about expensive vacations and private school acceptance letters. It’s annoying! Instead, resolve to be the friend and kind of parent who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. As moms, the only thing we really have to do is take good care of ourselves and our kids, and by lessening up some of the control on things that our out of our control, we empower ourselves (and our kids) to approach those setbacks maturely, prioritize, and focus on the stuff that truly matters. Bliss!
2. Lose One Pound. Okay, we know what you’re thinking: “I could lose one pound just by sitting in front of the TV and maybe forgoing the nightly dish of ice cream a few days a week” and that’s exactly the point. Kelsey Miller, author of the newly-released “Big Girl: How I Gave Up Dieting and Got a Life,” claims that our culture is so wrapped up in dieting, fat shaming and food porn that it’s nearly impossible to escape some sort of disordered eating. The cure? A concept called Intuitive Eating, which Miller explains in her recent Slate.com interview, is “just diet deprogramming and learning to eat like a normal person again. It’s having full permission to eat whatever. Nothing is going to make you a bad person if you eat it. And then it’s monitoring your fullness, which is just a very fancy way of saying, “You eat when you’re hungry. No matter what, you do it. And when you’re full, you acknowledge that.”
So this year, how about skipping the fad diets, weirdness around calorie counting, fat burning, “forbidden foods,” and all the rest? Lose one pound (or not) and see how you feel. Heck, you can always gain it back!
3. Make fewer resolutions. From dozens of handy organizational apps to productivity and happiness guru tips galore, it seems as if there are no limits on the multitudes of innovative ways you can maximize your time and kick butt at home and at work. But … why? Sometimes it feels like all these apps and tips are handcrafted for those who are already highly organized and in fabulous shape. So here’s an idea for those of us who rely on scraps of paper, “friendly reminders” from school, getting in “workouts” but running up and down the stairs in a mad dash to get out the door -- and an inbox with at least 2,000 messages in the queue. Limit the list. One to three high priority tasks or assignments per day, and that’s it. If distractions get in the way (which they usually do) then it’s not as big of a deal, and when you’re all done you’ll have that satisfaction of finishing the to-do list! Then (and this is important) be sure to reward yourself with a tall glass of wine or a hot bubble bath at the end of the day. Cheers!
