It’s so hard to be a parent in this golden age of technology. With all the social media sites and apps spewing inappropriate content left and right and your too-tech-savvy tween wielding their ninja skilled fingers on every keypad in site- it’s beyond stressful agonizing over what they “may be” viewing on their multiple devices. So. What, exactly, is on that phone? You might not realize that despite putting parental controls on every computer in your house, your child can still be exposed to inappropriate – even dangerous – content on his device. We caught up with Julie Brower, Teen Life Coach, and got the 411 on some of the newest (and most concerning) apps out there- and how to monitor them.
1. Ask.fm Touted by iTunes as “the #1 app for social Q&A that “lets you explore your friends’ personalities by asking them to answer smart, interesting, and fun questions about themselves” adult-speak for “let me ask you provocative questions and make rude comments to you”. So hurtful in fact that the site/app has even been linked to a bunch of teen suicides. Users of the app (and accompanying website) can be completely anonymous, and kids as young as 11 have signed up using fake birthdays (the site officially requires users to be age 13 and has a 12+ age rating on iTunes). And face it, it’s a lot easier to say mean or provocative things when you’re nameless.
How to monitor? Change the privacy settings on your child’s profile so they can’t be asked anonymous questions. Encourage your child to label any inappropriate or negative posts by “flagging” the content which alerts the app mediators. See http://ask.fm/about/safety/faqs-for-parents for more details.
2. Yik Yak: One of the newer apps to catch on, Yik Yak was created for college students- your first clue that it’s not appropriate for children. Like ask.fm, Yik Yak acts like a message board where users can post anonymously. But what makes this app even more dangerous is that it is a GPS driven LOCAL bulletin board, so anonymous violent, sexual, or profane comments about your neighbors, or (hello!) a last minute yaker party at your house can go viral. In fact, two recent posts – one by a student at Bergen’s Ridgewood High School and another by a student at Long Island’s Mount Sinai High School – forced the schools to call the police, who arrested the students initiating the violent threats.
How to monitor: It has a 17+ age rating on iTunes because: “it allows anyone to collect and share information with others without having to know them.” The geographical element adds another fear factor. We recommend forbidding this app (as many schools, including Ridgewood High School, have done), but if your child has already downloaded Yik Yak you should consider getting it yourself to see the local news feed and know what’s really going on within your local teen Yaker community.
3. Snapchat: A wildly popular app whose purpose is to allow users to “snap a photo or video, add a caption, and send it to a friend to view,” (think text and group text meets Instagram) and then, presumably, forget about the post, because the “snap” self-destructs in less than 10 seconds. Unfortunately, the promise that a picture would not exist for all eternity has led many users – most of whom are ages 13-24 – to engage in risqué behavior (hence the app’s nickname “the sexting app”). But if the person who receives the “snap” takes a screenshot of it within that 10-second window, then that intimate picture or inappropriate text can be sent all over the Internet and can potentially have long-term consequences. This app has a 12+ iTunes age rating.
How to monitor: Unfortunately it’s difficult to monitor your child’s “snaps” because whatever your child has “snapped” will be gone from his device by the time you get a chance to look at it. The safest option is to ban this app for your younger tweens and teens. And for older teens, you can review your child’s snap friend list and as always, have frequent, frank conversations about safety on the Internet and Internet privacy, or lack thereof.
4. Tinder: Also known as the “hookup app,” this online dating app requires just a simple swipe of the screen to “like” someone. While iTunes innocently describes Tinder as “the fun way to connect with new and interesting people around you,” it has a 17+ age rating and is clearly meant for adult use. Its use of geographical proximity to match singles means it’s possible for local predators to meet your child if she has pretended to be an adult looking for a date. Scary!
How to monitor: It is nearly impossible, so we recommend removing this app from your child’s device. It’s not worth the risk. If they haven’t downloaded it yet, consider setting your child’s device to restrict apps by rating, so they won’t be able to.
5. Vine: Think Instagram, but with short videos instead of photos. Although most of the time tweens and teens just make the same silly videos we do not everyone creates “short, beautiful videos” as instructed on iTunes. Despite efforts to restrict access to explicit content, it’s easy to find inappropriate videos, both violent and sexual.
How to monitor: This app has a 17+ age rating on iTunes for a reason, and Vine’s official terms restrict the app to kids older than 13. But there is no age verification when creating an account, and no privacy setting. Consider deleting this app, or at the very least set age restrictions on your child’s device so they can’t download it.
6. Instagram: Overall probably the most-used app by tweens and teens, this popular app was created primarily for photo sharing but quickly became a major social networking tool. It was not made for young children, and has a 12+ age rating on iTunes. Like other photo apps, much of the content is fine, but some of it is highly inappropriate.
How to monitor: If your child has an account, it’s important for you to sign up for one as well and “follow” your child so you can see his postings. Tell your child to keep his account “private” so anyone wanting to follow him or see his posts would need to request access first. Beware, though, that Instagram recently introduced Instagram Direct, which means your child can communicate directly with a follower and you won’t be able to see that content.
Remember, no one knows your child as well as you. Parenting advice is never one-size-fits all. Acknowledge the fun and exciting things you can see and post online, but be honest about the dangers as well. And keep in mind the more social media sites and apps you sign up for, the less appealing they will be to your tween or teen!
