It’s time to start training. Stretch out those calf muscles. Take the kids on marches around the neighborhood. Come on kids, knees up! Maybe you could do some geocaching to teach your children valuable skills like locating and orienting themselves on a map. This will come in handy when you’re searching for that perfect pretzel place in the gigantic American Dream Mall in the Meadowlands.
With about 4 million square feet of space and some amazing stuff for kids to do, we’ll want to be prepared for when it opens. So, let’s study up on their current plans and latest announcements. We already know that there will be an aquarium with real life sharks, a Legoland, indoor skiing, an indoor water park, great food from the fancy people who own Carpaccio in Florida and The Bellagio in Vegas, and a movie theater offering 4D movies. They’ll also have a few shops (about 400) and probably, although they haven’t announced it yet, more than one pretzel shop.
If all that wasn’t enough, they’ve announced a few *amazing* new tenants:
The KidZania theme park is a mini town for kids offering all kinds of professions for little people to try on. Want to be a pilot? Sure. News anchorperson, chef, police officer? Yep. And, when the kids work, they get kid currency to buy things within the park. They’re learning to manage money and that knowledge will be useful as you walk the mall and they ask you to buy every single thing. I believe this is what the experts call a teachable moment.
Lucky Strike is bringing For the Win. Sure, the Lucky Strike people are known for their bowling alleys and there will be bowling. There will also be 22,000 square feet with a live music venue, gaming space, and fun food and drink with dim sum-style cart service and ready-to-eat bites. Perhaps this is the amusement park the grownups have been looking for.
Nickelodeon Universe. That’s not just a land or a world but a whole universe of Sponge Bob, Ninja Turtles, and Dora. There will be rides and food, live shows and games, and even party rooms. We don’t even need to say any more about this. Consider your children’s mind blown.
Now, how much more training time do we have? Right now, the mall is scheduled to open mid-2018. Dora! Boots! Get my backpack and map! We’ve got work to do. Knees up kids, knees up!